Dog is Man's Best Friend

Okay how many of you can admit that coming home and getting licked on the face by your dog is the best welcome home greeting there is? I'll admit it. There is nothing quite like my Ali's greeting. She puts her ears all the way back, wags her tail non stop, whines with utter joy, and kisses me like there is no tomorrow.

My wife asks why I greet the dog first, and I say, as soon as you get as excited to see me as she does, I'll kiss you first.

Dogs never gets mad at us. They don't hold grudges. They don't talk bad about us behind our backs. They are fiercely loyal. They are always glad to see their master. They even sense when we are down and can try to cheer us up. They love us unconditionally. What a friend!

I know I am not alone here. I have talked to many other dog lovers who feel the same. I therefore, conclude that dog is man's best friend.

Cat Laughs

Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.

Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists?
Because they finally opened their eyes.

Why are cats better than babies?
Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.

What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
Hiss and Tell.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat?
A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you.

What does a cat do when it gets mad?
It has a hissy fit.

What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
The purrpatrator.

More Cat Jokes

Part 3

Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A peeping tom.

Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.

What is a cat's favourite song?
Three Blind Mice.

What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice?
Don't you have a cat?

What is a cat's way of keeping law & order?
Claw Enforcement.

How did a cat take first prize at the bird show?
He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.

Cat Jokes

Part Two

What do cats like on a hot day?
A mice cream cone.

What do you call a cat that lives in the desert?
Sandy Claws.

What magazine do cats like to read?
Good Mousekeeping.

Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can't?
Your lap.

Why did the cat put oil on the mouse?
Because it squeaked.

What is a cat's favourite car?
The Catillac.

What kind of cat will keep your grass short?
A Lawn Meower.

Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats?
Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.

What do you use to comb a cat?
A catacomb.

Why did the cat run from the tree?
Because it was afraid of the bark!

Teach your cat to flush the toilet, yes the toilet.
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Dog Jokes

Part 2

Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?
He doesn't believe in dogs.

What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

What is a little dog's favorite drink?
Pupsi-cola.

What kind of dog floats in the air?
An Airedale.

What do you get if an Airedale floats too close to the sun?
A hot dog.

What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat?"
It's raining cats and dogs.

Where do young dogs sleep when they camp out?
In pup tents.

Why did the little boy name his dog Computer?
Because it came with lots of bytes.

Pets Do the Darndest Things

If it weren't for the funny things pets do, some days would be down right boring. Take for example, dogs, and some of their habits.

One of our dogs will drag underwear, socks or bras around the house from the laundry basket. Her favorite time to do this is usually when we have guests! Can you imagine the embarrassment of talking to a guest and looking down at their feet, only to see a pair of underwear. Well we have experienced it several times. The only thing I could say the first time was, "I doubt that you need those so let me put them away."

How To Take Your Small Pet Dog Everywhere

How To Take Your Small Dog Everywhere

I recently came across a site that offers some valuable information. How many of you have small dogs that you would love to take along, but you are just not sure how to discreetly accomplish it? If you are like me, and have been looking for a way to travel first class with your pet, then look no more.

This sensational resource "How to Take Your Small Dog Everywhere - From Around The Corner to Around The World" is available to you as a downloadable manual directly accessible at http://crystals86.spencerdog.hop.clickbank.net/.

Yes, it does cost to purchase the e-book, but there is also a valuable bonus. At no additional charge, the "Hotel And Restaurant Guide" - all the places to travel that are pet-friendly and just plain fun!

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You Know Your Cat Owns You When:

At the store, you pick up the cat food and kitty litter before you pick out anything for yourself.
The Christmas cards you send out feature your cat sitting on Santa's lap.
You accept dates only with those who have a cat. If so, you eventually double-date with the cats to see how they get along.
You don't admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have.
You buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month.
You climb out of bed over the headboard or footboard, so you won't disturb the sleeping cat.
You cook a special turkey for your cat on holidays.
You feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork.
You give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas, and you spend more for your cat than you do for your spouse.
You have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator.

Why The World Needs Pets

Why The World Needs Pets
by: Bill Clanton

They won’t hold a grudge. They won’t leave you for someone else. They know how to show their affection. They even know your feelings better than you do. Who are “they”? Well “they” go by many names, but most of the world just calls them “Pets”.

Pets are wondrous creatures whose powers go beyond that of spiritual or magical. Perhaps that power is what the world needs more of. Recently while being interviewed by a local newspaper reporter I was asked the question, “Why do you think that pets have become so popular in recent years?” I thought for a moment and then answered. “We are a nation at war, a nation still recovering from the after effects of September 11th, a nation rebuilding in the wake of a devastating hurricane in the South, all while living in a media spoon fed world with terror attacks in every news break.” I then went on to explain the key thing that separates us from our pets. “If I were to go to a human friend for emotional support, I could only expect so much. You see, they could be affected by the same negative worldly stress that depresses me. However, my pet remains unaffected.” This newspaper reporter agreed with my statement and we spent several minutes talking about the idea of “unconditional love”.

Unconditional love is a phrase that I have heard people from all walks of life relate totally to pets. I find it amazing that so many people with different backgrounds, cultures, and languages can come to this same agreement. When we are at our lowest of lows our pet will still be there. Pets fill the void in our lives.

Another incredible aspect of pets is in the case of loved ones away from home. While loved ones may be over seas fighting to preserve freedom, pets are fighting battles here on the emotional frontlines in our homes. Our pets are armed with the weapons of mass affection. A wet nose, a wagging tail, a friendly purr, and soft snuggly fur remain a strong hold of the pet arsenal. In a few short moments a pet can bring us from a face full of tears to a face full of cheers.

They always aim to please expecting nothing in return. I have never heard of a dog not loving his master because his master forgot say “I love you”, or a cat ignoring her caretaker because they got home late from work. Wait, I am talking about cats so actual results of the previous statement may vary. My point is that we could learn a tremendous amount about humility and humanity from our pets. Humans using the powers gained by observing our pets could one day actually bring about world peace. In the mean time we take it one heart at a time.

The next time you find yourself alone, hurt, sad, or frightened, just find your furry friend, open up your heart, and let the power heal you.

The Creation Story As Told By a Dog

The Creation Story As Told By a Dog

On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labour for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.

The Creation Story As Told By a Dog