Beware of Dog

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying; DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

Dog's Duties

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. The children fell to discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

Seeing Eye Dogs

There were two buddies one with a German Shepherd and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the German Shepherd says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The buddy with the German Shepherd says, "Just follow my lead." They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the German Shepherd puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in.
The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed.
" The man with the German Shepherd says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The man at the door says, "Come on in."
The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.
Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?" The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua???
You mean to tell me, that they gave me a Chihuahua?!"

Top Ten Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers

10. T0o0p hqa5rxd 6tt0[o 6ty[p3e 2w9igtjh;pa3wds (Too hard to type with paws)
9. "Sit" and "stay" were hard enough; "delete" and "save" are out of the question.
8. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.
7. Carpal Paw Syndrome.
6. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway he's browsing www.purina.com
5. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
4. Can't help attacking the screen when he hears, "you've got mail".
3. Too messy to mark every Web site he visits.
2. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
1. Can't stick his head out of Windows XP.