Mind Games Dogs Play

Let the humans teach you a brand new trick, and learn it well. Then when the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.

Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go poop. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.

Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go pee, sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the world.

When going out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.

Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.

Funny Pet Names

Funny pet names are a fun way to express how you feel about your pet. Our pets can bring us joy and happiness. There's no disputing that. So, there is nothing wrong with choosing a fun name. Dogs learn their names and commands based on short and easy words. For other pets, there are really no limitations as to what you can name them. You can be as funny and creative as you like. Make sure it is something that the whole family can easily pronounce. Also, be certain the funny pet name won't cause any embarrassment for any of the family members when someone uses it. For ideas for funny pet names, you will find many books or magazines with good suggestions. Here's a good starter list.

Ammo
Archie
C.H.U.D. (cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller)
Cujo
Dr. Pickles
EddieG-unit
Gator
Happy Tuxedo
Holmes
Homey
Hooch
Keno
Knockout
Knuckles
Ninja
Nugget
Paws
Scaggs
Popeye
Schnapps
Septimus
Sisyphus
Sputnik
Squeeky
Stay (try it)
Taz
Zeus
Zorro

Ruff Ruff says "Please Don't Go"

My dog is the funniest pet around. I know everyone thinks their pet is funny, so do I. One of the most hilarious things that Ruff Ruff does is when it is time for me to go to work, he protests. No not in the normal way of barking or running around, or even laying in front of the door to block it. Ruff Ruff runs to my closet and gets some of my more casual clothes like my sweats and brings it to me. He knows that when I put my suit on, that I am leaving without him. So he does his best to let me know that isn't what he wants. When I proceed to leave anyway, you guessed it, he says "Ruff Ruff."

A Dog's Ten Commandments

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

We do not have to wait for Heaven, to be surrounded by hope, love, and joyfulness. They are here on earth and have four legs!