Cats and Their Gifts To Us

For me, one of the many joys of owning outside cats is the very real possibility that I can walk out onto my deck in my bare feet and step in squirrel guts. Don't laugh, I'm not kidding. Anyone who owns or has ever owned an outside cat knows that outside cats think the world exists only to supply them with vermin-ridden small creatures to destroy.

Many cat lovers will tell you that a cat is giving you a high honor by placing a mangled rabbit on your doorstep. Horse puckey. They do it to make you scream in revulsion and/or vomit. Making your owner sick is a high honor in the halls of cat-dom.

We have two outside cats, Yum Yum and Lonely. Yes, Lonely. Well he is Lonely No More now that he found a place to live. Yum Yum? Well, my kids named her. They don't like to be petted like normal cats, and they take great measures to avoid human contact.

Lonely looks like the feline hair ball and Yum Yum is a cute, it not feisty, black and white "friend." Their true talents, however lie in their bloodthirsty pursuit of hapless small animals. Squirrels, rabbits, birds, mice, you name it. I have seen all of their insides. I look at the cats and they give me this "What? Did I do something wrong?" look. Well, yes, you did.

If only I could scold them and make them clean up their mess. But that wouldn't be cat-like. They have the easiest jobs in the world: eat, sleep, and, yes, kill.